


TalonWatch

by theramenqueen



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 19:21:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15870108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theramenqueen/pseuds/theramenqueen
Summary: The daily goings of everyone's favorite villainous team, Talon! What wacky adventures will they go on as they work to torment Overwatch?





	TalonWatch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AttackPlatypus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AttackPlatypus/gifts).



> I'm a noob ok? Be nice plz. Validate me? 
> 
> (my friend made me post this) 
> 
> for u platy <3

_ To the tube of Steven Universe theme song  _

 

_ We- _

_ Are the Talon Squad _

_ We’ll always ruin your day~ _

_ And if you think we can't  _

_ We’ll always find a way _

_ That's why the people of _

_ Over _

_ watch _

_ Fear us~ _

 

_ Doom, Reap, Moira, Widow~  _

_ And Sombra!  _

  
  


_ At some hidden location no one knows yet cause damn you lore _

 

Moira: SOMBRAAAAAAAA

_ Sombra, wherever she is _

Sombra: shit. Why do I feel cold? 

_ Back to Moira  _

Moira: Sombra! Where is he?! I know you have him! If you continue to torture him like that I will dissect you and run experiments on your organs! 

_ From Somewhere on the intercoms _

Sombra: I dooon’t have him! Why do you always accuse me?! If you touch me I will tell Mercy how you feel about her! 

Moira: I WILL DESTROY YOU. Reaper! Get your fat ass over here and make her give him back! 

_ Reaper, materializing out of the shadows or whatever  _

Reaper: If she said she doesn’t have him she doesn’t have him

Moira: you always take her damn side! 

_ Displaying on the screens _

Sombra: XP

_ Back to these guys _

Reaper: Because she’s nice to me and doesn’t bug me with experiments

Moira: No it’s because she covers for you when you go off with that  _ air quotes  _ Soldier 76 that we all know is actually Mor- 

Reaper: SHUT UP 

Moira: Ha! Never mind all that anyway! Akande is back! 

Sombra: No! Please! Don’t tell him! You can have your damn pet back! 

Moira: Good. You better not have put costumes on my precious lab partner. 

Sombra: ): 

Reaper:  _ sigh _

_ In Sombra’s Room _

_ Door Opens _

Sombra: Fine. Here’s your pet back

Moira: Comrade! You did dress him! You have terrible taste 

Sombra: He likes it! It’s better than the stupid  _ gay aesthetic  _ you put him into! He’s a hamster! 

Moira: Shut up he likes it 

Hammond:  _ squeak! ( _ I will destroy you both someday mortals) 

Moira: See? 

Sombra: Whatever 

_ Then she slams the door shut _

Moira: I’m so sorry my pet for what she did to you. Look what she put on you! 

_ It’s a tiny leather jacket and fluffy purple skirt with little sunglasses  _

Hammond:  _ squeak… ( _ It's better than flannel) 

_ Moira, in her lab again _

Moira: Now to continue what we were doing Alistair before we were rudely interrupted 

Hammond:  _ squeak ( _ I still hate that name) 

_ Turning her tv on _

Moira: Our favorite show! 

Hammond:  _ squeak ( _ weeb) 

_ It’s Naruto. I mean come on what else?  _

Moira:  _ *singing along to theme song _

_ Door Opens _

Doomfist: You texted me saying Sombra was being naughty again? Did she hack Reapers tinder again? 

Moira: It’s fine now. She stole Alistair from me while I was eating ram- I mean getting an apple! 

Doomfist: Moira what did I say about ruining your appetite before dinner! You’re so thin as is! You need to bulk up your muscles! 

Moira: I am a grown woman now! I don’t need you nagging me about my muscles! 

Doomfist: Now now you know I’m right. With that diet of ramen and Japanese food boxes and that terrible habit of staying up all night to watch that unrealistic Japanese animation, it’s no wonder you’re alive. 

Moira: Stop! 

Doomfist: Come now it’s dinner time. It’s family night you have to be there

Moira: * _ grumbling to herself _

_ Dinner time!  _

Doomfist: Reaper could you pass the broccoli? 

Reaper: * _ grunts _

Doomfist: Reaper? 

Sombra: Hey Gabby could you pass the broccoli? uwu 

Reaper: fine

Doomfist: Why do you respond to her? Listen to me when I say something! And Moira get off your phone I said no anime at the table! 

Sombra: It’s because he likes me best! :) 

Moira: This is why I hate family night! 

Reaper: * _ sighs _

Sombra: What’s wrong Gabe? 

Moira: Did that 76 dump you again? 

Reaper: I said never mention him! 

Moira: Well it’s your fault you continue to attempt a relationship with that heathen. You have terrible taste 

Reaper: You don’t even like men! And I said shut up! 

Moira: You don’t know that! I’ve never dated! 

Reaper: Yeah because you’re a loser who spent all her time watching anime and experimenting on lab animals in high school! And no one liked you! So now you spend all your time pining after one girl who’s never going to like you because she spends all her time sleeping! 

Moira: That’s it! Get over here! 

Reaper: Try me giraffe! 

Doomfist: No fighting at the table! Stop it! 

_ Reaper and Moira wrestling on the table _

Reaper: Giraffe! 

Moira: Edgelord! 

Reaper: Weeaboo!!! 

Moira: Disaster gay!!! 

Reaper: WITCH

Moira: BURNOUT

Sombra: GUYS! 

_ … _

Sombra: I’m getting an alert on the systems! My intel tells me Overwatch is heading on a mission now! 

Reaper: Do we have to? 

Moira: Same

Doomfist: Yes! Fighting will do you both good! 

Sombra: 76 and Mercy will be there! 

Moira and Reaper: Let's go. 

 

—————————————-

 

_ And that was an evening at Talon Headquarters!  _

 

Widow: I’m back from vacation! Where is everyone? Did that leave me, again?! God dammi- 

 

_ Yup _


End file.
